Reader, I [am not 25].

The thought behind this blog is one part wedding blog that will never happen (but how perfect would "Reader, I Married Him" be as a wedding blog--so perfect that it probably already exists out on the interwebs) and one part a moment from my first semester of law school when a friend was lamenting that she was turning 25. There was some small part of me that wanted to turn that moment into a blog post right when it happened titled, of course, "Reader, I [am not 25]." I guess good things come to those who wait.

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There is some part of me that wants to talk about the past. A friend and I met up tonight to do just that, and to try to figure out how we got from point A (2004) to point B (now). Ten years is a lot to account for and we barely scratched the surface. I'm not sure where he thought he'd be in 2014, but I know I never thought I'd be in law school. I never thought that I'd like law school. But what we talked about tonight makes me want to talk about the present more than the past.

I am not 25. I'm 30. Maybe five, almost six, years isn't all that much in the grand scheme of things. Then again, for some people, it's an entire lifetime.

I called my mom on the way home from meeting with this friend. I tried to explain that I don't always feel grown up. That staying in school for this long has made me feel somewhat stagnant. But I forget that I've done more than school and the school that I've done has been diverse and interesting and challenging. My MFA program was rewarding because it was hard. Writing is rewarding because it's hard. There's nothing easy about it--and if it is easy, it's usually not good writing.

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I'm getting distracted. I tend to do that. The whole point of this post, of realizing that I'm not 25, is that I'm glad I am where I am, at the age I am. It may not look anything like what I thought 30 would look like. I'm still a student. I'm still single. I'm still living in Provo. But, as I tried to explain to my friend and my 2004 self tonight, I've spent the past ten years making choices and deciding who I am. I'm happier at 30 than I was at 25. There's something to be said for owning not just who you are, but the narrative of how you became who you are. As I consider what this blog is and will be, I hope that's the narrative I share. Those moments when I was myself, and maybe not myself, and why I'm good right where I'm at.

And maybe, just sometimes, this will also be a wedding blog.